26 shots, no soul: De Zerbi's Spurs collapse 3-0 at Brentford

Roberto De Zerbi waited all summer for this. Ninety minutes into his Tottenham reign, he might have wished he’d waited a little longer.

The grand unveiling — an expensively-rebuilt Spurs, a shiny new era, a manager sold to the fanbase on beautiful football — turned out to be a 3-0 dismantling at Brentford that flattered the visitors. It was meant to be a statement. It was one, just not the statement he’d drafted.

Start with the number that should be keeping him up at night: 26. That’s how many shots Brentford had — the most any side has managed against Tottenham since October 2022, per Opta — and enough to turn Antonín Kinský’s goal into a fairground stall. Keith Andrews’ team were so untroubled they could afford to miss a penalty, Igor Thiago rattling it off the post as if a third goal would have been showing off, and still stroll home. When a side is that wasteful and it doesn’t even dent the result, the gap isn’t a gap. It’s a canyon.

The bit that actually changed

Then came the press conference, where De Zerbi decided to hand out the punishments himself. “I think we are not a team yet,” he offered. “We didn’t show the soul.” And then, asked about the second goal, he reached for 20-year-old Lucas Bergvall by name: “in the next two years, he will not lose that ball in that moment of the game.”

Spurs have not become a good team overnight. They have become an annoying one, which historically is worth more points.

— The tactical view, page two

Lovely vote of confidence. Except — he did lose it. Today. And you lost. Smell the coffee already ☕️ Sip, sip. Promising to fix a kid by 2028 is a bold way to tell your own supporters to settle in for the long haul after one match. It’s either radical honesty or a man working out, live on camera, exactly what he’s signed up for. GiveMeSport called his words “frightening.” They weren’t reaching.

Because the trouble with “we need time” is that De Zerbi means years, and he’s counting from a game his side spent largely as tourists in their own half. “You become a team with the players,” he mused — the sort of thing you say after watching eleven strangers in matching shirts introduce themselves at kick-off.

The internet, predictably, has lost its mind

Brentford, meanwhile, have quietly discovered that life after Thomas Frank looks suspiciously like life during Thomas Frank: fearless, front-footed, organised, with club-record signing Mamadou Sangaré bossing the midfield like he’s paid off the mortgage on it. Andrews kept it humble — “there was a lot to like” — and he’s earned it. His team found their soul. Spurs are still filing the missing-persons report.

De Zerbi asked for patience. On this evidence, he’s going to need a monastery — and a bigger cafetière.